Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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