i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
