Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
