Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
