I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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