I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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