he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
