I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
