Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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