bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
