I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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