come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
