Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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