i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
