I got chris browned last night
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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