she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize