I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i think i just lost a toe
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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