she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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