i just wanna soil my oats bro
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
