Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
