Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
