your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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