I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
