I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Text me some of your sweat
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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