dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize