I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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