I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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