You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
