is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Randomize
