your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
