apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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