Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
