so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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