are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
