I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize