I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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