Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
