Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
