You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
