just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
