I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
