Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
