U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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