I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
