im about as happy as oj after his trial
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it's great music for shaving your balls
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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