do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
