Swine flu. Run for my life!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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