I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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