ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Randomize
