If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
