We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
