please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
