I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
