I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
