this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
