I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
