everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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