Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Randomize
