A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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