Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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